Being a perfectionist, one must see perfection in imperfectness. The way imperfection works is, when it's done right, it's more perfect than perfection.
This 4th of July really was some sort of a downer. Usually I do okay, but when there is a special occasion, I feel the need to be near people. I did exactly that yesterday and it felt forced. I saw so many people, and beforehand I thought to myself I didn't have to talk if I didn't want to. It's Japan afterall. They're used to long pauses and silence. In the end it was my reflex to talk and try to be interesting. The whole time it wasn't me, it was my social self who took over. The anxiety to perform is cunning.
They were all very nice. I feel like I have been fasting and just started eating solid food again. It's almost painful. Like always I got no numbers from anybody and didn't feel like asking either.
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