Sometimes, just sometimes, maybe there's no need to have a reason to celebrate. Just celebrate, the fact that I'm alive. No, don't be alarmed. I'm not writing a suicide note. In fact, I'm the last person in the world to consider ending his own life. I just appreciate the simplest thing in life, life, itself. And no, I don't do recreational drugs.
I've always been fairly unlucky yet I'm a really lucky guy, in all aspects and none at all. I'm from a really poor family but we're all decent people, hard-working and decent human beings. We work hard and over time we earn our merit.
My oldest sister is the simple type I've explained before. But she is nowhere near stupid. Quite the contrary, she is brilliant. Mentally organized, straight to the point, practical, powerful, sometimes even intimidating. My second sister is a bit more like me, into more artsy things, literatures, philosophical, intelligent, and more polished. She and I can never be understood in the eyes of my oldest sister. She just doesn't get it. My second sister is the most academic of the three of us. I love them both dearly. Yes I managed to just slip that in there. You'll have to read to notice. I've slacked behind in school maybe because I don't much believe in organized education. Or I simply suck as a student. Yeah, the irony.
I bet they didn't see what's coming from me, and then one day, it hits them right between the eyes and they miss it. Sooner or later they'll understand. When one day I said I'll take off and never be seen again, they saw it as a threat. "What in the world is my little brother saying?" they thought. But it wasn't a threat. It is who I happen to be. I seem to drift, from one place to another. I happen to think that privacy is important. And I happen to think that family will stay together forever, in the least tight way imaginable. And it doesn't diminish my love for them.
I'm not particularly good looking, but I fare well enough. Oh who am I kidding, I do alright as looks go. I don't have a particularly tough time meeting people if I want to, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I can pass for a flaring smooth operator one day and a silent antisocial the next. Moodiness is my weakness but I have adopted the urban camouflage. I don't really understand country people as they tell me they'd love to move to Tokyo, London, Hong Kong, or New York. I just don't enjoy metropolis as much as the next person. I suppose it's really great to have everything right next to you, but why? I grew up in the biggest of the cities in the world. They're what I need least. Not that there aren't any sentimental values. I'll probably die in one of them.
I've always been fairly unlucky yet I'm a really lucky guy, in all aspects and none at all. I'm from a really poor family but we're all decent people, hard-working and decent human beings. We work hard and over time we earn our merit.
My oldest sister is the simple type I've explained before. But she is nowhere near stupid. Quite the contrary, she is brilliant. Mentally organized, straight to the point, practical, powerful, sometimes even intimidating. My second sister is a bit more like me, into more artsy things, literatures, philosophical, intelligent, and more polished. She and I can never be understood in the eyes of my oldest sister. She just doesn't get it. My second sister is the most academic of the three of us. I love them both dearly. Yes I managed to just slip that in there. You'll have to read to notice. I've slacked behind in school maybe because I don't much believe in organized education. Or I simply suck as a student. Yeah, the irony.
I bet they didn't see what's coming from me, and then one day, it hits them right between the eyes and they miss it. Sooner or later they'll understand. When one day I said I'll take off and never be seen again, they saw it as a threat. "What in the world is my little brother saying?" they thought. But it wasn't a threat. It is who I happen to be. I seem to drift, from one place to another. I happen to think that privacy is important. And I happen to think that family will stay together forever, in the least tight way imaginable. And it doesn't diminish my love for them.
I'm not particularly good looking, but I fare well enough. Oh who am I kidding, I do alright as looks go. I don't have a particularly tough time meeting people if I want to, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I can pass for a flaring smooth operator one day and a silent antisocial the next. Moodiness is my weakness but I have adopted the urban camouflage. I don't really understand country people as they tell me they'd love to move to Tokyo, London, Hong Kong, or New York. I just don't enjoy metropolis as much as the next person. I suppose it's really great to have everything right next to you, but why? I grew up in the biggest of the cities in the world. They're what I need least. Not that there aren't any sentimental values. I'll probably die in one of them.
7 comments:
Todd, you sound much different (at least to me) in your writing.
by the way, when it comes to academic type in your family, you forgot to mention this got-nothing-else-better-to-do-other-than-academic-pursuit brother-in-law :D
There are just too many layers. Somehow I'm able to treat this as a diary for myself only. What a relief. Otherwise I can't write anything at all.
When we see people everyday, it's really their superficial layer we meet. Isn't that true?
btw, can my economist brother-in-law confirm the "theory of transportation"?
I guess you can't say that it is the superficial layer. And for that matter, any layer per se. I think it is more appropriate to say that we are composed of a set of elements. When you see people everday, you just pull out an element out of that set (according to some optimization principle an economist would say) and that may not necessary be a superficial one.
Well, what is the theory of transportation you are refering to?
Check out this post on the blog:
Sunday, July 17, 2005
transportation
There really is a brand of theory in economics labelled as search and matching theory which covers all sort of searching and matching issues including monetary exchange (if there always is perfect match for commodity exchanges, money won't exist in the first place), marriage, and employment. Indeed, I am gonna take a course in this in the Fall. Before that, I can share my limited knowledge in this area.
Well, first of all, from a more global point of view, how do we define perfect match? What are the cost and benefit involved in achieving that perfect match? It takes time and effort to search and if this cost is taken into account, then your definition of perfectness may have to change. In a world in which information is costless (or as you said there is no transportation cost), you must have a very perfect match you can dream of. But we do not live in this utopia (but I bet you partly live in utoddpia), so the one (be it your job or your lover) you currently have may already be a optimal choice. Then what use of our theory if everthing is optimal? Well, the theory predicts that when certain components of the cost changes (or more sophisticatedly in a world with uncertainty, the distribution of the job offers or "lover offers" changes), then your searching behaviors will change too. So, for example, I guess the invention of the internet has lowered the cost of searching a lover in another continents (how to maintain long-distance relationship is another issue though), so we predict we have more cross-culture relationship now than, say, two decades ago. Common sense enough huh? You are indeed right in talking about the next best. There indeed is theory of first best and theory of second best in our literature. When the cost of achieving first best is too high or outright impossible, second best is already the best.
Hello.. just wanted to leave a trace, as I liked your blog very much.
What I like especially is that it characterizes you, it gives you a persona.. and according to "catpapa" up there in the comments this blog persona is somewhat different to who you really are?
I think that's wonderful..
Because, in the end all personas that we are capable of manifesting are bits and pieces of our complete selves, obviously..
And if the blog gives you an opportunity to share a bit or piece of your complete self that you may not always share outside the world of blogs, so much the better..
Proves there can be a very personal function to blogs.
Thank you, Catpapa for clearing that up for me. And thank you, Kristjan Hans for visiting my blog and leaving an encouraging comment. You're my very first Icelander visitor.
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